I take bus 16 to work everyday for the past 10 months or so. There are a usual lot of people you see everyday at the bus stop and on the bus. There are also a few characters, you can’t help noticing. The following are some a few main characters that make my life a bit more interesting.
Disclaimer: The following characters are real. No obvious intention to criticise any physical abnormality or weird habits.
Mr Nostril-too-big-for-his-face
Mr Nose is a petite (not sure if can use petite for men), little guy. He’s around 30+. Usually wears a neat plain business shirt with his hair all ‘glued’ to one side. He is really skinny and his head is too small, but proportional to his body. Unfortunately, his nostril isn’t. The first thing you would notice is that he’s got a huge flare-up nostril. Luckily, no nostril hair sticking out of that dark cave. I sometimes catch myself staring into the dark unknown. Anyway, he’s actually quite a quiet man listening to his radio. I don’t really mind sitting beside him because I’ll have enough room.
Miss Green-eye shadow
Miss Green is a rather large woman in her early 40s who reads yesterday’s newspaper in the bus. She wears way too much eye make-up. Mind you, I have nothing against green eye shadow or women in their 40s wearing make-up. It’s just that, she always dons 2 different eye make-up every single day, neatly layered one above the other, but always with a green eye shadow. Monday, she had orange eye shadow layered below her favorite green. Today, she had BLUE and Green….hahaa….looked like she was punch right on the eye the night before. I particularly dislike her not because of her poor make-up sense, but because of her ugly-Singaporean attitude. She always has her bag on the seat beside her. She doesn’t put the bag on the empty seat…. but more like on the seat at the side and her butt will spill into the empty seat. It’s really uncomfortable sitting beside her as one only have very limited butt space. I thought I’m the only one with the problem but after observation, I had never seen anyone sitting beside her, sitting properly, like with their body facing the front of the bus. They tend to have their legs in the narrow passageway, hence blocking the walkway.
Mr Tweezer
Mr Tweezer is a middle age man, always with a stripped business shirt - the kind with white collars and cuff sleeves. As his name explains, he’s got a dirty habit of plucking his chin-hair as well as his upper-lip hair (Ouch!) in a packed crowded bus. Yes, apparently he carries a tweezer in his pocket. I’m full of admiration for him. Not only he’s got a high tolerance for pain, he did it all without a mirror. Meaning he sometimes accidentally plucks his own flesh. (Ouch Again!). *Applause* If you see a girl staring at him with painful look on her face, that’s probably me. I understand the pain and feel the pain - I pluck my brows.
Miss White-Pants
Another Fat Butt with bag on seat. This 40-ish woman wears white pants everyday, with bad VPL (Visible Panty Line)…yeah…sometimes with a bad wedgie. I’m sorry, can’t help but stare at big butt with white pants and VPL. She’s always having her Gucci (probably fake) sunglasses on, maybe to disguise her ugly face. Her LV bag (probably fake too) will be on the empty seat beside her and she’ll pretend to sleep when people come onboard. She’ll only move her bag when someone indicates his or her intention. Once, I got real pissed, I attempted to sit on her bag, but she moved it away before my butt touches her precious bag.
Mr & Miss Please-Get-a-Room
This young, probably newly-wed, always manage to get a seat together. They can’t keep their hands to themselves, even on a crowded bus. I once stood beside them, I saw the gal stoking the insides of his thighs (Eeew!). Most of the time, you’ll just see the gal resting her super heavy head on his shoulder as though her neck can’t support her own head. Seriously, GET A ROOM!!!!
Miss Androgynous
For the past 10 months of so, there’s this young person with short hair, always in bermudas and a loose tee-shirt and always carrying a haversack, at the same bus stop as me, also waiting for bus 16. If I go to the bus stop and see him there, I know I have not missed my bus. However, all these times, I’ve been wondering this person’s gender. He can be a guy with feminine features or a gal who dresses like a guy. I’ve been guessing everyday and I had not come up with an answer. Today, I finally got my answer. SHE wore a maternity dress! No only had I cleared my doubts about her gender, I also discovered she’s probably married and expecting too. Hahaa!!! Hooray, mystery solved.
Me? I’m Miss Unpredictable. On good days, I can dress up as really professional, business shirt with pencil thin skirt and court shoes. Other days, I can look anything from a poly student to a tai-tai look. Most days, I look like an orchard road shopper. I’m really glad, my office is not strict with dress code, as long as it’s not revealing or too ‘lok’ (going market look). Am very fortunate to have casual Friday, which I usually wear jeans or capri pants (3/4 pants) and tee shirt.
