Received Ikea’s 2004 catalogue and suddenly an unhappy thought came to mind.
I’m the only child and for some reason, my relationship with my mum is extremely bad. Being in KL’s family, I realised how fortunate KL and his sis are. Their mother, although can get annoying, love them both a lot and the wonderful thing is that, she shows it too. At the beginning of my relationship with KL, I hope to share that love with them, but unfortunately, it didn’t happen.
Many incidents proved that, you will always love your own flesh and blood more and an outsider will always be…. an outsider. The incident, which evokes an unhappy thought suddenly, happened a few years ago.
It was KL’s 3rd move to another apartment and the last 2 places we lived in, we had no mirror in our room. I being the girl needed a full-length mirror. I had to go to his sis room and use her mirror. She’s extremely touchy and I always get a hostile look from her. So, I stopped going to her room. And I became irritated. I have 2 full-length mirrors in my room. I’m not exactly vain or stare non-stop at myself in the mirror every waking moment. But can any decent girl tell me honestly that they don’t need a mirror at all? Okay, let’s do an experiment. See below.
Anyway, KL knows I’ve been unhappy about not having my own mirror and also, I feel very bad about having to use his sister’s. What makes it worse is that she’s not too happy about it too. Wah Lau? What’s the big hairy deal about sharing your mirror? Besides, I’m very considerate; I will not go into her room when her door is closed. ARGH! See? How frustrating? Okay, here’s the crux of the story. One day, a few months after we’ve moved in, KL’s mum told me she was going to IKEA and asked what we needed. I said nothing coz mirror is pretty expensive, but much to my delight, she said that I probably need a mirror and since she is buying one for herself and her daughter (she already have one?!?!) and agreed to get me one too. I was so happy until I got home that night with KL and realised, I had none.
KL’s mum bought a lot of new furniture and stuff. Among all, she bought 2 mirrors. One for herself and the other for KL’s sister. HUH??? WHAT ABOUT ME??? I was pissed and totally upset. KL knew and made excuses that his mum forgotten to get us one. I kept quiet. That night, I went back my own place and sleep. I wasn’t angry at KL, but just that I feel more love and needed at my own place. And one thing KL didn’t know, I cried that night.
It’s not about material you understand? It’s like asking a kid if she wanted ice cream and after agreeing to get her one. The kid got none. And the worse part was, she had to look at everyone with an ice cream and a greedy, unappreciative kid having TWO!
Anyway, soon after that, I became unhappy. It is not my place and I feel so unwelcome so I told myself to stay home instead since it made me so unhappy. Which I did. Since then, our relationship strained. We wanted to be together but staying apart isn’t helping. Following that, KL had a knee operation and I moving back to his place again. Although I wasn’t happy, I didn’t show it. Taking care of KL was my priority.
The eve of my birthday, a few months later, I went out with my friends as they wanted to celebrate for me and it was inconvenient for KL to come. Throughout my night out with the girls, I was missing KL and called him often. I went back straight to his place that night. When I got back, I found a wrapped up long object on the bed. I knew immediately, it was my full-length mirror. Yippee! I was so happy!
The next day brought my mood down. KL’s mum was chatting with KL’s aunty and I overheard their conversation. KL mum sarcastically said “Last night, KL went out in his condition and…*hmpf….came back with a large mirror.” Hearing that, I became guilty…. very guilty. His aunt later told me about the conversation again and mimicked KL’s mum exactly what I heard. His aunt assured me that KL loves me a lot and his mum was concerned about him driving out in his condition.
At this point, you must think KL’s mum is such a horrible person. But I assure you, she is not. She is just insensitive towards others, especially me, that’s all. You must also think that my relationship with her and the family is very bad. That’s not the case too. In fact, I think I’m pretty close to them. Now that KL is not in S’pore, they call me pretty often, mainly to find out about KL, coz he doesn’t call them. Hah!
Okay, KL is very sweet hor? Hehee…. Anyway, KL came back for the holidays in June this year and since they moved again, KL hasn’t had the chance to do up his room - everything’s in boxes. We went there a few times trying to unpack and I stumbled upon something. I found my beloved mirror hanging in KL’s parent’s room. ARGH!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……… I became upset. I became like his sister, possessive over our own mirror. Actually, I don’t see it that way. It’s just that I went thru so much effort, including unhappiness and tears to get that mirror and it’s hanging on someone else’s room. What’s worse, it’s not reflecting the rightful owner’s image. I became visually upset after losing my mirror again.
I so fed up right now. I think I’ll stop here.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot.
The Experiment :
Girls : Try not looking at the mirror for 3 days. Don’t cheat, reflection on the windows also cannot.
Boys : Try not looking at the mirror for 1 week. Don’t cheat, reflection on other people’s spectacles also not allowed. Not even for shaving - please be careful.
Now, after the experiment period, please write your conclusion.
Disclaimer : I don’t hate anyone. I might be a bit bitter about it, but I think I deserve the right to be.