13th Week - Emo
Feeling really vulnerable and emotional today. Watching KL pack his luggage for his ski trip felt as if I was watching him literally leaving me for good. Tears and fear poured down. I’m such a drama queen. Somehow I was trying to overwrite my hormones with rationality. But I just couldn’t make it work.
KL was helpless and suggested canceling his trip. I couldn’t help but feel really selfish. I kept assuring him that its the hormones and he shouldn’t cancel the trip. But I guess with tears in my eyes, I didn’t do a great job and he felt worse.
We tried to get distracted by going out for dinner and it sort of worked. Upon return, he cleverly packed the remainder of his stuff while I was in the shower so I don’t have to witness him packing.
I really don’t know. I can’t expect him to understand how I feel at the moment and definitely can’t expect KL to do what I wish he would. I have to let him go do this thing.
Don’t think I should drive him to the airport also. I need my sleep. Baby needs his sleep. Otherwise, I would wake up puking. Besides, its probably best that he takes a cab there. I might not handle very well when I have to drive myself back home with my tears filled eyes.
Going to sleep and probably wake up with really puffy eyes.