HazyDaze

KL is away for work again. This time, its for about 15 days - the longest ever on his business trips.

He sent me an email this morning and I really wanted to archive it, so I am leaving his email here.

I survived pretty well yesterday and today. Yesterday, I went out and met some people. Meals were not alone and I went for mass. Read a book to Baby and told him where KL was. Didn’t sleep very well however as I had to wake up many times in the night having to go pee.

Today was the start of the work week and as usual, busy as always. Missed KL quite a bit but I definitely wasn’t as emotional as his Japan ski trip.

Just made Mee Sua for Dinner and washed all the dishes we’ve collected since Friday. YUCKS! I even make some chicken stock for tomorrow’s dinner. Since KL usually spoils me rotten with cut fruits, I decided to make myself some fruit salad to bring to work tomorrow.

I think I’m doing pretty okay with KL away in his business trip. I don’t think anyone can understand how I fear loneliness. Maybe I am managing better this time because I have the Baby to talk to and share my time with. It’s funny how I’ve suddenly bonded with him in the last couple of week. I really feel truly happy I have another person I can share my life with. I guess I never feel like that about my pregnancy until now.

In the first trimester, I had the worse morning sickness ever. I lost my appetite and KL was worried about my nutrition. He made me a fruit salad every morning for a few weeks.

I feel so loved.

Feeling really vulnerable and emotional today. Watching KL pack his luggage for his ski trip felt as if I was watching him literally leaving me for good. Tears and fear poured down. I’m such a drama queen. Somehow I was trying to overwrite my hormones with rationality. But I just couldn’t make it work.

KL was helpless and suggested canceling his trip. I couldn’t help but feel really selfish. I kept assuring him that its the hormones and he shouldn’t cancel the trip. But I guess with tears in my eyes, I didn’t do a great job and he felt worse.

We tried to get distracted by going out for dinner and it sort of worked. Upon return, he cleverly packed the remainder of his stuff while I was in the shower so I don’t have to witness him packing.

I really don’t know. I can’t expect him to understand how I feel at the moment and definitely can’t expect KL to do what I wish he would. I have to let him go do this thing.

Don’t think I should drive him to the airport also. I need my sleep. Baby needs his sleep. Otherwise, I would wake up puking. Besides, its probably best that he takes a cab there. I might not handle very well when I have to drive myself back home with my tears filled eyes.

Going to sleep and probably wake up with really puffy eyes.

Going to see doctor on Wednesday to confirm.

I have very sensitive skin. That is an understatement. When I buy panties, I have to make sure that the stitching mustn’t be too thick that will ‘cut’ into my flesh. I have some favourite panties that I deliberately wear it inside out. When I buy bras, the lace must be soft enough or else I get rashes. When I sleep, the bedsheet must be tucked in properly and must not have crease folds or else I get irritated and can’t get to sleep. A single grain of sand/scalping on the bed will get me annoyed the whole night until I get rid of it. Okay, you get the point.

So, KL calls me the Princess and the Pea.

2 nights ago, I was playing with my DS lite in bed when my dad called. I rushed out of the room to get the phone and chatted with him till I fell asleep. I didn’t have a good sleep that night. The pillow was so uncomfortable, I woke up in the middle of the night to turn it around. I got up the next morning with a heavy head which eventually developed into a headache on the way to work.

I had a miserable day at work.

After work, I came home and looked for my DS to entertain me. I couldn’t find my stylus. Guess where it was. It was under my pillow, the whole freaking night. I now know why I didn’t sleep well. Mind you, my insanely expensive pillow is very thick. Normally, on normal cheap pillow, I would have to use 2 pillow (there are times I use 3). Since I bought this pillow last year to help me with my sinus, I only need one. Now, how can I feel the bloody tiny stylus under my super thick pillow?

Answer: Princess and the Pea.

In case you are wondering, I am not the Pea.

I’m home alone on our 12th Anniversary.

KL is probably having lots of sashimi and ramen.

I am so envious!

I miss you babe. Come back soon.

I’m back but I don’t want to come back.

I’m sulking. Like a spoilt kid. Pouting.

I’m checking in the airport kicking and screaming (in my head).

I’m telling KL that I don’t want to go back Melly because everyone here loves me. No one in Melly loves me.

I’m loved by Daddy, Aunties & Uncles, evbest friends, ex colleagues, ex classmates, friends, cousins…etc.

I’m showered with gifts and everyone wants a piece of me.

I’m thinking of home now.

Feeling all gigglish today. Like a high school girl with a crush.

Argh! I’m too old for this shit.

Oh, to my best friend in the whole wide world, Happy Birthday babe.

Welcome to the 30s club. I’m honoured to be the one who welcome you with open arms.
Babe, one word - Gravity! Hahaa…

Remember, we’ll age gracefully together like Grace Kelly, Jackie O and Audrey Hepburn. If all else fails, we’ll be French and Saunders. I’ll be Botox-ed French and you can collagen lips Saunders. I love you babe.

Hope you like your new digital camera. Wish I was there with you all at the crab place.

Tao hua yun at the most unlikely time. One younger, one older. But at my fine age of 30+, I’m not complaining.

Except, I wish for more quality.

Its one of those extremely tiring days at work and it gets longer. What made it worse was that I had to go gym and then have dinner with boss and Syd colleagues.

I just got home. At 11.18pm to be exact. My day couldn’t get any longer or any more tiring.

On the way home on the cab (company paying), I couldn’t help but to grab out my mobile fone to call or text someone. I have this impulsive urge to let someone know that I’m heading home from work. Maybe I have been well trained by dad - to report every move.

All my life I have been “trained” to report my every move. As far back as I remembered, I remember in primary school, I have band practise on Saturdays but I never go home straight after dismissal. One day, playing in a playground opposite school, I spotted dad’s car and I knew instantly I was in trouble. True to that, I went home and had a earful about not coming home straight after school and got a whacking as well.

Then, in early secondary school, mum decided to return to the workforce. After school everyday, I had to knock on my grandmother’s window to announce that I’m home. Everyday, without fail. Although I doubt she hear me everytime.

Soon, I started partying. Dad comes home around 6pm, just about the time I’m about to leave for Zouk. I always tell him where I go and get rewarded $50 taxi fare. It’s dad’s way of letting me enjoy but be safe. Even when I go clubbing alone, or with some new friend I made, I always make sure I tell my then-friend, Qianting. She knows I’ll give her a ring when I come home safe and sound. Well, she’s not exactly a great tracker, she doesn’t do anything when I come back drunk and go straight to bed without calling her.

After those “wild days”, I had KL. I spent almost every waking moment with him. Dad knew where I was so I didn’t really had to report to him. Besides, I had a pager then, he knows how to reach me, I won’t dare not to return his page.

I guess the routine was back again when KL went to the army. I was back to reporting to dad. He was worried that I was missing KL too much.

Anyway, since KL came to Melly to study, I would text/call him often to update him with my daily schedule. Basically, it was just a way to stay in touch.

Tonight, I was lost. Lost for the lack of people to report to. I didn’t want to text/call KL because I know he is sleeping. I couldn’t text my dad because…well, just because. Strangely, I really wanted to inform someone about my whereabouts.

Of course, I know everyone is different. GL hates it when we ask her what’s she doing or where is she. Even if it’s just casually asking. Do I have a problem wanting to inform someone about my whereabouts?

I’m going to sleep now. Tired!

Yes, KL bought me a bouquet of roses. I have never in my life (so far) received such huge bouquet. Very happy, although I had to walk to the reception desk to get it myself.

Wonder if its because of the bad blood lately or because he knew I was having valentine’s lunch with a 19 year old boy who adores me. Whatever the reason is, I’m truly happy and for once, we sort of celebrated Vday.

By the way, this is the first time we are celebrating Valentine’s day as a married couple in Melly. And in the last 5 years, we have been apart on Valentine’s day.

So, KL and me are both home sick today. I’m still nursing a sore throat despite not screaming or talking much at the Big Day Out yesterday. I still sound like an old man who smoked too much in his days.

I’m glad to be sick with KL at home today. We seldom get sick together. Most importantly, he seldom miss work. Still, it was nice being at home with him on a weekday.

We went to the post office today and finally collected the parcel BS sent. Because he didn’t write any of our name on the parcel, the post office wasn’t able to locate it. It took them over a week of searching to finally found the small brown envelope. Kanasai!

Have I mention I love receiving parcels?

I think these are probably my Xmas 2006 presents because it came from both GL and BS.

I’m sure the lippy is from GL because I recommended it. Surely, it can’t be from BS. He only knows to get me rubber from Watsons. This is not available yet in KoalaLand. Thanks babe, I just finished mine.

There was also a pouch with something inside…

Check out this goth necklace. She asked me to wear it with a white long sleeve shirt. I think I can visualise what she’s aiming for, but I think it’s kind of goth.

GL said something earlier, “I miss our creativity when we go shopping together. We have Chemistry!” I miss you too babe. Shopping will never be the same without you.

Finally, the Alexander McQueen inspired Skull Scarf I asked BS to get for me in November. Thanks babe.

My best friends. They never fail to surprise me. Never! Not even if the presents still have the price tags on.

Have I ever wrote that I love Audrey Hepburn? Love her style and look.

That was my Audrey Hepburn look with my capris and lulu guinness lookalike flats.

Since we return from our SunnyLand/China trip, I haven’t had the chance to upload the pictures here. Although, KL had most of the pictures in his flickr, I was too lazy/busy to do so.

Here are some of the pictures of the different stages of unpacking.

Some of the shopping I did. Mainly clothes.

Shoes of course - actually 6 pairs to be exact.

1/3 of the toiletries bought from SunnyLand. There were a lot more still in the carton when this picture was taken. If you really have to ask - yes, its cheaper.

I woke up this morning to find KL not beside me. Apparently, he woke up earlier than the alarm clock and decided he had enough sleep. Mad! I was asking for too many 5 mins which made us late in leaving the house. Anyway, I was pretty proud that I remember to bring MT’s birthday present to work so I could go to the post during lunchtime. The moment we stepped out of the house, our adventurous day begun to unfolded.

The door closed behind us, KL felt his pockets only to realise that he had not brought his keys and wallet out. I dug deep into the side pockets of my handbag only to empty the contents of it on the driveway. I didn’t have my keys with me too. SHIT! NO HOUSE KEYS, NO CAR KEYS, NO FREAKING WALLET, NO MONEY. KL only had his mobile phone and I only had my mobile phone and cashless wallet with me. While we debated whether to get a locksmith or go to the real estate agent (a couple of suburbs away) for the spare, we were told that the locksmith was nearer.

To avoid getting on each other nerves, KL walked to the locksmith while I stayed behind. I sat at the bench in front of the retirement village (facing my apartment) and called Boss to inform him that I would be late - he was very cool about it and said, “It happens to everyone. I’ll see you when I see you.” Called Co and told her about it, only to have her laugh at my misfortune. *sigh. Friendly tenants of the retirement village greeted me while I asked one of them if he knew how to pick a lock. He replied, “One of the things I regret I didn’t learn in my youth.”

KL called to tell me that the locksmith quoted $99 to break into our place and he could only come at 10.30am (it was about 8.30am at that time). So, we decided that I should walk to meet KL and attempt to make a trip to the real estate company for the spare. Just when I was about to reach the meeting place, KL called to tell me that he had stomache and will be using the toilet at the nearby mall. So, I thought I might as well go into the mall to withdraw some money, just in case. The ATM was right infront of the Newsagency which sells Tattslotto - $22Million draw tomorrow. So, I casually walked in and bought a $13 hope.

So, KL appeared and we took the tram to the real estate office. Having absolutely no coins, we couldn’t really pay for tram ticket. To make matters worse, the tram we took was filled with ticket inspectors. Thankfully, they were ON their way to work so they simply ‘bochup’.

Got the keys and took a $14.50 taxi back home, only to realise that the security door key didn’t work because they recently changed it and the real estate company wasn’t provided the new copy. Fuck! What next? We had to buzz our irritating neighbour to ask her to let us in.

Reach the office about 10.30am. Spent the next 1 hour telling everyone about my morning and doing rubbish like participating in the office charity game - “Guess the Lolly”. Got an email from my ex-study mates to go lunch with them.

Did more random stuff (wrapped MT’s birthday present) and left office at 12.25pm to meet them for lunch. Got invited to drinks after work with them. After a long 1 hour lunch, parted and went to the Post to mail out the present. Return to the office for less than 5 mins and instigated my boss and SHE to go buy gelati. Got out of the office, got myself a mix of Melon and Chocolate gelati which was so good that I ate it too quickly and suffered brain-freeze. During of which, I asked my boss if he wanted to “Try My Melons.” Hahaa…

As we were indulging in our gelati, we received a long awaited good news from our client and celebrated by chit chatting even more. A colleague called me on the phone (she was only a few rows away) and asked me why I was so late today. I had to tell her the story - so I wasted more time. She asked if that means I have to work an extra 2 hours, I told her maybe not coz Boss was very nice about it. All in all, I merely did a total of probably 1 hour of work the whole day.

We were at boss room when I declared that if I didn’t turn up on work on Monday, it would mean that I had won the $22Million draw. Boss suddenly got spontaneous and took out $5 and placed it on the table. I grab my wallet and placed my share. SHE took the $15, asked around the office where the nearest Newsagency was. Soon, everyone on the floor know that our team went out to buy Tattslotto and came round to ‘kaypoh’.

At about 5.10pm (5 mins before the official end of work day), boss came out and declared that we should go out for drinks. I had worked here for nearly 7 months and we never did this so I thought he was joking and I ignored him, pretended to get some work done. 5 mins later, he came out, all ready to go home, stood at SHE’s desk and ask us to hurry up coz he wants to catch the 6.01pm train home. I chucked all my files and whatnots in my cupboard and left with them for a beer. We toasted to a great day and success in our winning ticket. Hahaa… It was the most spontaneous random thing we ever did and I’m fucking glad we did it.

Boss left first and then SHE left to catch the 6.21pm train. I rushed to meet CO and KL was waiting for us. Again, totally random, we parked in the city, had curry for dinner and then came home, changed and went to the driving range. We had so much fun at the driving range - Co and me, laughing at almost everything (including how much we suck at golf and some auntie’s VPL).

Left the driving range at 10pm, drove back to the city. Took a walk to check out Jamie Oliver’s new fifteen resturant location, hoping to bump into him. No Luck. Had tea at this taiwanese place near Co’s place, left the place at 11pm.

After showering, called Dad, only to realised he was at the back of the van, on his way home after a birthday dinner with his mad friends. It was Uncle David’s birthday celebration. Talking to him, I felt I needed to poot so I sat on the royal throne. Unfortunately, my dad just HAD TO pass the phone to Uncle David and Uncle Richard. I had conversations with my dad’s friends while I pangsai. OH MY GAWD! They were asking me to give my dad grandchildren. Uncle David said, “Very easy - Just do it!” I told Uncle Richard that, “Daddy never taught me about the birds and the bees.” Uncle Richard said, “He taught everyone but didn’t teach his daughter.”

Here I am blogging about my long exciting day at these wee hours of the night, so that months or years from now, I could still remember this exciting day. Tired, happy and still filled with adrenaline, I have to go to bed soon. All I can say was that it was sure a long exciting day, one adventure after another.

I have been feeling down and basically shitty about money problems and stuff for the last month or so. Spoke to BS about it online one day and he made me feel better. BS even suggested some ideas how I can have some resolution. KL and I worked on it briefly coz nothing can be certain. Of course, since it is not solved yet, I was beginning to feel blue again.

I saw GL online yesterday and I called her at work. Spoke to her for quite a while and she made me feel all good again. I’m really glad to have best friends like BS and GL. And the great part is that their approach to “counseling” me are both very different and they get me - it better coz of more than a decade old relationship with the both of them.

I love you guys.

This post is back dated.

On the morning of my birthday, I got to sleep in. Took the day off and the night before, had a fantastic Korean dinner with KL and Co. Plus, well wishes from the girls in the office which includes a Birthday Card.

Co got me these - Mimco Pacific Opal Studs. I love it, and nearly bought it. It’s great that she remembered and got it for me. So sweet of her altho I think it’s a bit expensive. KL thinks the stud is too big for me, but I haven’t found the right occasion to wear it out yet.

I digress. We started the morning with yummy brekkie at our favourite cafe but I was nervous and couldn’t really finish my food. Thats because, right after that, we were going to head to the tattoo parlour. Yikes! Anyway, we didn’t go there right after brekkie coz I had to go home to *ahem… sit on the throne. Its my nerves I tell you.

Anyway, as I sat at tattoo place alone coz KL was going to pay for my tat. I was nervous and text BS. Prior this day, I told BS and GL that I wanted to get a tattoo and BS call me bluff while GL thought I was doing thru a mid-life crisis since I was hitting the BIG 3 O. And GL wanted to talk about it as she seemed pretty disapproving, but unfortunately, she went on her travel before we could talk. And if GL knows that we (KL & myself) only confirmed the design the night before, she might flip.

Actually, KL was also uncertain about my tat idea. Coming from a person who already have 2. His idea is that one should take about 1 year to think about getting a tattoo and another year to finalise the design. Although I have been thinking of getting a tattoo for a long long time, the thought only materialised 1 week ago and the design finalised the night before. *heh.

Stupid BS kept telling me that its so painful, I might faint. I was worried. It was bearable. Actually to be honest, quite shoik. Hahaa… now i know why some people are so obsessed with getting more than one tat. But I think I would stop at one. According to KL’s research, the tat palour is quite popular and famous. My tat artist is from Canada and asked me about citizenship and all. How strange.

I used the same font as KL’s and he designed the butterfly for me. I guess the butterfly signifies me leaving home and reminds me of dad keeping caterpillars for me so that I can watch them evolve from pupa to butterfly. Somehow, it also reminds me of the time when BS, GL and me went to the zoo and we were 3 goondus pointing our fingers at the butterfly hoping it will land on my finger.

Anyway, I did it. At a fine age of 30. Well, at least I can’t say that I was young and foolish when I had my tattoo. Besides, its unique and definately original - not some random picture I picked out from the folder.

This post is back dated.

On KL’s birthday, the 25th May, we went out for a yummy steak dinner at Vlado’s. The dinning experience was the best ever. The steak was far better.

The place was kind of difficult to spot with a little dark door in the middle of shopping heaven. The interior was spartan but it wasn’t the design of the place that caught my attention. It was the chef - Mr Vlado himself standing behind a glass screen doing what it seemed like “punching” the meat.

We sat on a small table with already 2 huge dinner roll on the table. We wasn’t given any menu or sort. The wall I was facing was the only wall in the whole place with wallpaper - wallpaper of cows STARING at me. But I wasn’t going to let that ruin my meat experience.

Within a couple of mins of sitting down, the stern waiter placed a bowl of what it seems like Coslaw on our table. It was quickly followed by a long thin sausage each as entree. Only one quarter into our sausage, came a oval plate of assorted meat. The waiter spoke too fast as if it was routine for him - “mini beef patties, calf meat, cow liver, pork/chicken,….” there was more than 2 items each so that we could each get to try them all. Trust me, at this point in time, we were nearly full.

Even before we could finish our entree + appetitzer + salad, another waiter came with a plastic tray of all the different cut of raw beef - Sirloin, Ribeye, Scot fillet, etc. I chose the smaller cut coz I didn’t think I would be able to finish my food, only to have KL laugh at my stupidity. Why? Coz bigger or smaller cut, we would have paid the same price. *ARGH!!!

I kept turning my head away to avoid the stares from the cows on the wall. Mr Valdos probably thought I was one of his regular and waved at me a couple of times. Finally, the steak came. First thing I noticed was that there was only the steak on the plate. Nothing else. No baked pototoes, brocolli or any other distraction. Okay, not like I can eat anything else, but it just looked really bare. The knife was probably too big for me to handle but the steak was easy to cut and the first bite was…..indescribable.

I think I might have tears in my eyes - okay, Drama Mama. But, its simply the best ever!

Anyway, its hard to describe the taste except that you will never look at a steak the same way ever again. Oh, KL couldn’t finish his steak because, Mr Birthday Boy ate the whole entire gigantic dinner roll and already reach his max. Hehee… I helped him with his steak. That statement was unbelievable. HAH!

Oh, we are not done yet. We still had dessert! It was a choice between Strawberries with Vanilla Ice cream or Pancake with Strawberries. So, we ordered both - to share!

At the end of the dinner, KL was holding his belly and I was just glad that it was winter and I have my outer coat which I would let my tummy hang inside without anyone noticing.

We will definately go there again even though the dinner was kind of pricy. I wanna bring Daddy there. Surely he will enjoy it.

Rest in Peace, NS.