HazyDaze

Baby has been behaving himself lately. I’m happy because it means I don’t have to worry about aches and pains when I am stressed at work.

A new discovery - Baby is having hiccup in my belly. Its called Fetal Hiccups. Based on the research I’ve done, it’s pretty normal. Apparently. hiccups are just a fetal reflex. As hiccups rely on the development of the central nervous system. Some experts think that hiccups in utero is a response to fetal drinking or fetal breathing (learning to breathe), which causes the flow of amniotic fluid in and out of the lungs, stimulating the diaphragm to contract. How I know it’s hiccups and not movement? coz its a little spasm every 2 seconds for a while. I reckon he can’t be THAT active.

Also. this week, his kicks has gotten stronger. I’m sure KL can feel him kicking hard now. Waiting for KL to come back and hope that the baby has no performance anxiety.

My feet have been swollen for a while. Its so bad, I have no ankles and the top of my feet jiggles when I walk. *YIKES! No cure for water retention on the feet. According to books and research, sitting, standing and walking too long will cause it to puff. WTH? Means what? I have to lie on my back with my feet propped up every second of the day? I WISH!

Oh, I have to complain about my breast and nipples. Close the page now if you think it’s too much info.

My nipples are huge! And dark! I’m seriously upset with it. I am determined to get those Japanese pink nipple miracle creams when I am done breast feeding. AHHH!!! I have nigga nipples!!!

Most people would like to have big breast. Me? I am happy with my pre-pregnant size. Now, its enormous, I don’t even want to tell people my cup size. Seriously, anyone envious of my current cup size, please go shoot yourself in the leg. I think you are mad. Size comes with weight too. Its freaking heavy!

And, I am developing linear nigra. Sigh… all for the sake of the baby.

I have been going to prenatal yoga class since I was kicked out of my normal pilates class when I told my instructor that I am pregnant.

We normally start the class by introducing yourself and how many weeks we are as well as how we feel. The class knows me as Miss Puke because I always talk about puking. Also, they hear me loud and clear when I gagged in class sometimes.

Today, during class, I realised my feet is a little puffy. I knew that it has began.

My tummy exploded overnight. Thats me at 21 weeks (5 months).

After a week of procrastinating, here are the pictures of my 19th week scan.

The baby was not cooperative and was facing downwards. We never had a “normal” baby scan picture. This baby has begin early signs of being ‘guai lan’.

The baby’s foot on the left picture and the hand on the right side.

The sonograher had to rotate the scan so that we can have a better picture of the baby. Do you think that his thigh looks like he had a BIG boner?

Finally, the first look of his penis. Don’t ask me how the sonographer can tell. But if you see closely, the green cross is pointing at his baby penis. And the knob a the left end of that is suppose to be his scrotum.

We have been excited about this day. It’s been a crazy hot day with 38 degrees. While KL took a day off, I went to work for half a day.

Appointment for the scan was at 3.30pm but by 1pm, my mum called us to ask already. Goodness, she remembered the day. The afternoon before the scan, we were busy with errands that we can run during the weekday.

Sitting at the Ultrasound place was quite unnerving. Although they are also checking for the growth of the baby, the only thing in my head was “Pink or Blue”. I’m such a bimbo.

When it was our turn, the first look at the baby, I knew it’s not going to be an easy task. The baby was all hurdled up facing the bottom and refused to move. The sonographer checked for everything, measured the brain, head, thigh bone, arm bone, feet, hands, etc. Everything he could measure, he did. He shook my tummy and tried making the baby change his position. But he didn’t budge. I felt flabby whenever he did that to my tummy.

The last resort was to have me go pee and hopefully the baby would have moved. But I already went to the toilet before coming to the clinic. Still, I managed to wee a wee bit. Jiggled my butt in the toilet. Threaten the baby if he didn’t cooperate, he would have to live with yellow and green for a while. Tried all I can before leaving the toilet. I went back to the room, baby had not moved an inch. The patient sonographer continued measuring I don’t know what. At some point of time, I couldn’t tell the baby from the screen. It look like tv static.

Sonographer was trying to explain parts of the baby to us and then he said, “This is the scrotum. The penis is here. It is going a boy.” With the word Scrotum, I drew a blank. I looked at KL and he said, “BALLS”. Ahhh… the language I’m familiar.

So, baby’s got balls.

I officially look pregnant then fat now.

Sad part is, I lost my waist. I look like a Tree trunk now. Kate at work said I better not be wearing green top with brown pants.

Stressed this week again. Even without my parents living with me, they can still annoy me. They threaten not to come in August because I “control” them too much. They don’t like it.

Being threaten not to come in August took a toll on me today. I hate being threaten. I decided that I should seek my own way out of this. Realising that there is no such thing as Confinement Nanny in KoalaLand added to the stress. Options of importing my own, means money.

One other option was KL’s mum. Eek! Seriously, I rather bite off my own arm then to have her come and run the household while I am down for a month. If she was nice to me in the beginning, I will welcome her. Most people know I am very accommodating and generally easy to get along.

Yelled and crying so much at work, I begin to think it’s the hormones again. Poor KL must be pretty stressed out by me today too. Sorry.

Called the hospital and they told me that I am still on the waiting list. Apparently, contrary to my previous telephone call a month ago, they said my chances are pretty slim. Not being able to give birth in my first choice of hospital dashed my dreams of ever giving birth in a catholic hospital. Dealing the the receptionist at the doctor’s office made my day worse. I guess I have to give birth in the streets then.

Last month, KL’s mum nicely asked if I wanted anything for Aunty Stella to bring back in March for me. I told her I don’t mind some tonic, mainly Bird’s nest if possible. In her fone call over the weekend revealed that she got me 2 bottles. Right. Enough to last me till the end of my pregnancy. She claimed it is concentrated and I need to water it down. Years ago when I was living with KL, she made KL’s sister drink a bottle of that “concentrated” bird’s nest EVERY NIGHT. Guess I am different. Not her daughter.

I called my dad to ask him to buy me more and got Uncle Kenny to pass it to KL’s mum to then give it to Aunty Stella. My parents already got me some when they came but I need to stock up. Been reading the nutritional properties they have for pregnancy and post pregnancy is amazing. Besides, I really like the taste of it.

Explained to KL that I am not deliberately dissing his mother, but just solving a problem. I hope he knows its not deliberate. Sometimes, I think he side his mother/family more. Sometimes, I think he don’t step out of the ring to see who is right or wrong. It is easier to think that it is just a plain mother-in-law vs daughter-in-law problem. Mainly, he has to see that it is not that simple. I’m always glad I have great friends in GL and BS/NL to see that KL’s family are actually how I describe them to be. Aunty Anna and Uncle Kenny can see that too. Even though Aunty Anna is KL’s mother’s sister.

Sometimes wish KL was supporting me instead of “trying” to be fair and trying to be impartial by stepping aside. It doesn’t work that way.

Parents have gone home. They gave me so much stress when they were here. Wonder how am I going to handle when they come in August. Started puking badly on Monday when I had a big fight with the folks. *sigh… Sometimes I wish Dad would put his ego aside and see the bigger picture.

Had a few advice from friends and even my boss and I decided to let go. Boss said that once I begin treating them like adults, they will start treating me like one too. I hope so. But at the end of the day, they always think they are right and I don’t know better. Seriously, I’m carrying a child now. I’m freaking in my 30s, married and living abroad.

Most people knows of my pregnancy now. Had meals with a big group of friends and they started giving the baby names. People speculating the sex. Brands said that he can tell the sex and begin asking if we did it doggy-style. We stopped him there. Jo said he wants to get Gucci booties. Yeah right!

Strangers, friends and even colleagues started molesting me. Okay, my tummy. I still look fat than pregnant. Co calls me Fatty.

KL calls me Giraffe. Because of the way I bend to pick up things. Bending forward has increasingly becoming a difficult chore.

I am puking lesser each day. Well, at least not puking everyday like I was in the 1st trimester. Get really discouraging when I count those puke-less days and then puke, I have to start counting all over again. I hope I get better. Most people this time had already stop all nausea.

KL is back. But sick as a puppy. Must be the cold freezing weather in Japan and possibly the exhaustion from snowboarding.

Parents are here and we went Sinny. Parents are older and KL is sick. I’m the only one (although pregnant) seemed to be walking faster and tireless thru-out. Poor KL, no appetite and really restless.

Although it was suppose to be a holiday trip, fought with the folks a lot. Losing patience with them. Can’t quite understand how come they became like they are now. Is it my fault for leaving them and therefore deteriorating? KL kept telling me that they are just old and here for holiday so let them be.

I seriously hope that I will age gracefully and will not be so dependent on my kids.

Still eating quite little and still gagging. But good news is, puking is slowing reducing.

Spent the last few days with friends company but still, the weekend was still lonely.

Chinese New Year was lonely.

Waiting for KL to come home.

Still puking as normal and no appetite.

Feeling really vulnerable and emotional today. Watching KL pack his luggage for his ski trip felt as if I was watching him literally leaving me for good. Tears and fear poured down. I’m such a drama queen. Somehow I was trying to overwrite my hormones with rationality. But I just couldn’t make it work.

KL was helpless and suggested canceling his trip. I couldn’t help but feel really selfish. I kept assuring him that its the hormones and he shouldn’t cancel the trip. But I guess with tears in my eyes, I didn’t do a great job and he felt worse.

We tried to get distracted by going out for dinner and it sort of worked. Upon return, he cleverly packed the remainder of his stuff while I was in the shower so I don’t have to witness him packing.

I really don’t know. I can’t expect him to understand how I feel at the moment and definitely can’t expect KL to do what I wish he would. I have to let him go do this thing.

Don’t think I should drive him to the airport also. I need my sleep. Baby needs his sleep. Otherwise, I would wake up puking. Besides, its probably best that he takes a cab there. I might not handle very well when I have to drive myself back home with my tears filled eyes.

Going to sleep and probably wake up with really puffy eyes.

I just had my ultra sound scan. These are the words the sonographer said:

“Good news - One live baby.”

“Bad news - He is standing on his head. Makes my job harder.”

First look at the screen - I didn’t know which was up or down. Then I realised where the head was, and it came a complete shock to me. I have only seen ultra sound scan pictures of babies lying horizontally, but never upside down vertically. Hahaa…

We heard the heart beat next. Really loud and fast.

Then, his hand was waving and moving so much. His legs stretched and back to normal. So much movement, I only wish I could feel it. We also saw the spine and the heart beating on his chest.

The next thing that happened came a complete shock. I was asked to change into a gown with underwear off and instinctively, I knew I am going to get one of those dildo scan that was mentioned in the pregnancy forum I have been reading. I wasn’t exactly expecting that. But luckily, I have been reading those forum site so often to know whats happening. I think KL must be a bit confused for a while.

Sonographer did his checks for the fluid thingy and then we had a good view of his little foot. Next thing we knew, the baby moved and we saw his face. Okay, not a clear one but it was still a full view of his face. How surreal!

Foot and face.

KL and I wasn’t emotional or anything. Not like those in the movies. I guess, I just felt weird and still in shock. Looking at the screen felt very surreal. As if I was watching some documentary on TV.

The due date is around the calculated one so we didn’t have to change anything.

We were given a picture and a DVD of the scan. I am quite embarrassed about the stupid things I asked and said during the scan. I was nervous and basically ignorant being my first time.

Before posting this, I had watched the DVD at least 5 times!

Anyway, good news for KL. He once mentioned that if I had twins, he would cut. Well, I guess he don’t have to cut whatever he was thinking of.

I’m in my 10th week. Morning sickness is still lurking around. Still puke a bit and gagged a whole lot. Although I feel like crap all the time, I hope it all good for a healthy baby.

In all fairness, women and men are suppose to be equal. However, we are build so differently. I told KL that women are not meant for the workforce. Seriously, all the nausea and tiredness makes it difficult to be working. Imagine those not working in an office environment, they would be feeling and having it worse.

Most days (everyday), I just want to stay home and wake up late and then make myself breakfast and watch some daytime tv. Take a nap and then only to wake up to watch Oprah and then make myself a snack. The only thing is, I would be wide awake when its time for KL to sleep at night. No one to play with me.

Seriously, being relax at home ease the morning sickness. Maybe becoz I was snacking all the time and took naps whenever I need to.

Again, KL thinks all my theories are bullshit. He thinks its my excuse to be a tai tai at home. I wish.

Feeling like crap. Morning sickness hit me at the worst. Can’t seemed to shake off puking every night.

Still not eating well coz no appetite.

Baby don’t like fruits after dinner. Sure to puke while showering.

Water taste bad. Drinking water makes me puke too.

Argh!